TheFilmBully

“Cats” was hot garbage, never in my life have I ever gotten second hand embarrassment from watching a movie. It was released just in time to be considered one of the worst films of the decade, & is a perfect example of why every musical play shouldn’t be adapted into a film. It was just a bad idea.

There were a few moments where I was convinced that I was watching a horror film that consisted of mutated singing cats. The CGI was atrocious, the visual effects were nauseating, & the singing made me cringe. It is a very unsettling film adaption, & the casting directors clearly did not give a shit about who they picked because the performances of Jason Derulo & Rebel Wilson were painfully awful & awkward.

Tom Hooper, who also directed the film adaption of the infamous play “Les Miserables,” was the director for this film & his directing style for musicals is the same: the entire movie consists of singing, with little to no dialogue. However, “Les Miserables” was a huge success & visually stunning as well as amazingly acted, “Cats” is a hot mess. The singing would become infuriating after a few minutes, especially once they began hissing at one another. The choreography & dancing were entirely too much. Also, the tone of the film was way too inconsistent, it would constantly go from an upbeat song to a calm one, then back to upbeat, then back to calm, then to a sad song, then to an upbeat one all in a matter of seconds… can you give the audience the chance to process what just happened?

I was so confused while watching this movie, primarily because of the set design. Where exactly do these mutant dancing cats live? The setting was also very inconsistent, they would constantly leap from place to place without giving any context on why they were now at this place. Furthermore, none of the songs effectively push the storyline, so it just seems like they are singing and meowing at each other for no reason.

In short, this movie was a pile of steaming shit. It was beyond creepy and clearly made the movie theater uncomfortable. There were no memorable performances at all, not even by Jennifer Hudson, who I still can’t believe downgraded herself to such a movie. The worst part of the entire film was the CGI, placing the faces of actors on a human cat body was nothing short of a terrible idea. There were way too many points throughout the movie where I continuously raised the question, “what the hell is going on?” “Cats” is the type of film that will come & go, it’s just a forgettable pile of garbage that should’ve never even been attempted in the first place.

Final Rating – 1/10

“Queen & Slim” starring Jodie Turner-Smith & Daniel Kaluuya, directed by Melina Matsoukas & written by Lena Waithe, is a story surrounding two individuals following the aftermath of Kaluuya’s character killing a cop in self-defense. These individuals remain unnamed until the very end of the film, in fact, the origin of the names “Queen & Slim” are never touched upon… which was odd.

There are a lot of problems within the script of this film, let’s begin with the pacing. When we are first introduced to Queen & Slim, they are on a very awkward & uncharismatic Tinder date. It is clear that these two are not compatible whatsoever; Queen is very reserved & makes it clear that she only agreed to go on this date because her client was executed & she needed an escape, so Slim happily agreed, & he is obviously more into her than she is with him. Queen is a stern attorney & Slim is a happy go lucky church boy, he prays before he eats his meal as Queen looks at him in disgust, later revealing that she is an atheist. These two personalities do not coincide whatsoever, & at the end of the date Slim asks Queen if he can get to know her more & she is utterly uninterested in the idea. With that being said, it is very hard to believe that these two characters who were blatantly incompatible in the beginning can fall so deeply in love in such a short timespan of only 6 days. So I present the question: was it really true love or was it trauma bonding?

It is also hard to believe that this seemingly intelligent attorney would run off with her Tinder date who she just met & who she isn’t remotely attracted to in an attempt to save his life. That’s the problem that I have with this film, they used a realistic subject (police brutality) & flipped the story in such a nonrealistic way, yet this film wants people to have a conversation but what exactly is the conversation that Lena & Melina want us to have? Furthermore, approximately 45 minutes of this film could’ve been cut out. There are a few scenes and moments that either were misplaced or did not need to be in the film at all. There is a scene where a black teen shoots a black cop in the face when the cop was just trying to be peaceful. It was unbelievably unnecessary, came off as shock value, & I would love for Lena to explain the point behind it because that moment genuinely did not need to happen. That scene once again made me question the message that this film is trying to convey, what exactly is the message? Where are we going with this?

This film tries to paint itself as a love story, but it is not. Granted, the performances of Smith & Kaluuya & their chemistry were so amazing that it gave audiences the impression that their love was genuine, but nothing about it was. We have two completely opposite people on the run from the feds after murdering a cop in self defense, both know that this journey will not end well, they are scared shitless, in the beginning Queen is still not attracted to Slim (even the sounds of him eating pisses her off), so essentially the only reason these two characters build a connection is because they are both traumatized together. Queen said so herself that she would not have agreed to go on a second date with Slim if he had asked. In short, this is a forced, wannabe love story and there is nothing authentic about falling in love with someone in under a week just because you guys are on the run together. I don’t doubt that these two begin to care for each other towards the end but in terms of this being considered true love? I don’t think so. I would’ve preferred for Queen & Slim to take on a brother & sister role instead of a romantic one, it would have been a tad bit more realistic.

On a positive note, I have to give praise to the directing style of Melina Matsoukas. “Queen & Slim” is visually stunning & aesthetically pleasing. The cinematography was beautiful, the costume design was on point (especially Uncle Earl’s Gucci sweater), & I loved the color grading in a scene. The dialogue was also occasionally appreciated, at one point Slim asks Queen: “why do black people always have to be ‘excellent’? Why can’t we just be?” Those are the only good things that I have to say about this film, this film has a few beautiful moments but it ultimately falls flat.

The writing was unrealistic, the character development was rushed (6 days, really?), there were one too many filler scenes & this is a story of trauma bonding, not love. “Queen & Slim” is the result of a writer trying their very hardest to come across as “woke” whilst displaying nothing but empty messages.

Final Rating – 4/10

“Joker,” starring Joaquin Phoenix & directed by Todd Phillips, was the highly awaited DC origin film about the notorious villain, The Joker. It’s safe to consider this movie as one of the best films of 2019. It is gritty, beautifully crafted, perfectly paced, & most importantly, unapologetic.

We are given a film where the audience genuinely feels sorry for The Joker, we want to see him win, & in the end, we cheer for him. The movie begins with Joker, who’s real name is Arthur Fleck, watching himself in the mirror as he puts on his clown makeup & attempts to put on an unsettling smile. You automatically feel sympathy towards him, because in this very instant it is made clear that this character is damaged, & he forces himself to put on this same smile daily despite his life being a tragedy.

This film felt more like a story about a man slowly losing his sanity over the course of time & eventually succumbing to his environment & going insane, rather than a story about The Joker himself, which I absolutely loved. He just simply transforms into the villain at the very end of the film, but in the early stages it’s as if I’m just watching a deranged, mentally ill man try to grasp onto any inkling of humanity that’s left in him but he just ends up losing his grip.

The cinematography was absolutely gorgeous, every to every other scene looked like a beautifully painted picture, & the lighting always perfectly matched the emotive undertone of a scene. I have to give credit to Todd Phillips as a visual and as a storyteller, because this story was told patiently while also painting a vivid picture with every shot. The close up shots, especially during the bathroom scene where Arthur is slowly dancing, captured the essence & psyche of his character so amazingly. Despite the unnecessary controversy that surrounded this movie before it came out, there is not that much violence in it at all… don’t get me wrong, it is a violent film, but it genuinely provides the perfect amount of gore & suspense. “Joker” doesn’t try too hard, it gives the audience just enough and you are left satisfied with every bit of it.

As expected, Joaquin Phoenix stole the show. His portrayal of Arthur Fleck/The Joker was so haunting, uncomfortable, and dark & you are left with wanting to get to know his character more and more with every scene. I felt for him, his performance made me feel something, it was nothing short of fantastic. His movements were carefully orchestrated, his speech & delivery were organic. What’s lovable about Phoenix’s portrayal of this character is that it is his portrayal; he didn’t pull a Jared Leto in ‘Suicide Squad’ & try to copy Heath Ledger & Jack Nicholson’s performances/mannerisms of The Joker. He added his own twist & originality to it, it was all him, & he pulled off the infamous Joker laugh brilliantly. I hope to see a few nominations for him & for this film in 2020.

“Joker” was dark but immensely subtle at the same time, it is a complex film with a few twists & unexpected occurrences that’ll make you want to go for a second viewing. It is clever, it is beautifully crafted, & the story flows naturally. Phoenix’s performance will go down in history as one of the greatest portrayals of The Joker of all time, right next to Heath Ledger & definitely in front of Jared Leto. It is an amazing movie, I would even go as far as calling it a modern masterpiece.

Final Rating – 10/10

“IT: Chapter 2” was one of the most anticipated films of the year, a follow up to the first chapter which was released in 2017. It continues the story of The Losers Club and their battle with Pennywise, the infamous evil clown. There are only three words to describe this movie: messy, predictable, & cheesy.

The directing style of Andy Muschietti is quite repetitive at this point, in his past three films he has had the enemy characters rush towards their victims in the same exact ways: with their arms flailing around or firmly reached out, or their bodies jerking/shaking while running towards them. Due to this, the oncoming attacks on the characters from Pennywise & the many forms he takes become monotonous after a certain point. The amount of cheap jump scares in this film was absolutely ridiculous, a scene would go silent and then BAM there goes Pennywise running after or scaring one of the Losers. You already know it’s going to happen, you anticipate it, and once it happens it has no affect. Essentially, the scare tactics used in this film were nothing short of lazy.

One of the things that I admired about this movie was it’s loyalty to the novel, a few of the scenes felt like they came straight from a page in the book and that was enjoyable to watch. The murder of Adrian Mellon in the very beginning of the film at the hands of IT was an exact replica of the scene in the novel, I was very happy to see that they kept that in there.

The most annoying part about the writing in this movie was that it was too heavy on the humor, the audience is laughing more than they’re being scared. The first film had a bit of humor in there, but it wasn’t this bad. It was almost as if IT: Chapter 2 was trying its best to also earn the title of dark comedy. The reactions of the characters when they encountered certain situations was terrible. For example, when Eddie gets stabbed in the face, he begins to laugh (it was a mixture of emotions due to being shocked by what just happened, I get it) but then right afterwards he cracks a joke & the audience is once again amused… a vital character just got stabbed in the face, it’s okay to not add constant comic reliefs & allow audience members to simply process what just happened. The verbal spats between Eddie & Richie were comical, of course, but adding comedy during scenes where we’re supposed to be shitting our pants was unnecessary. There were also moments where there was way too much going on in one scene, & then it would cut to a different scene for a few seconds & then cut right back to the initial one.. or sometimes it would continuously go back and forth between scenes. By doing so, the formula comes off as sloppy.

The worst thing about this film was the CGI. The amount of CGI was so excessive that Pennywise and the forms he would take looked hilariously animated. There is a scene where the younger version of Beverly has her head become a ball of fire, & the computer effects were just painful. The effects during the Ritual of Chüd scene was so laughable that I wasn’t even concerned with the fear exhibited by Bill & Mike’s characters.

Last but not least, the acting. Bill Skarsgård stole the show, he definitely added more intensity to his performance of Pennywise the Dancing Clown, & it was nice to see him receive more screen time compared to the last film. The rest of the Losers Club, with the exception of Bill Hader & James Ransone, were an absolute snooze fest during their scenes. McAvoy’s performance was so dull that I wanted the child version of Bill to come back, & this is coming from someone who adores McAvoy. Isaiah Mustafa, who played Mike Hanlon, was awful at acting scared… all he would do was begin panting, sweating, & talking fast. I’m not saying that the acting was terrible, I’m simply saying that they could’ve done better, especially when the performances from the child actors in the first film were so amazing.

Overall, this movie was a lame pile of mess. It’s not even a horror film, it’s a sinister comedy. Its loyalty to the book is appreciated, but where was the loyalty to the genre of horror? I didn’t mind the run time of the movie, which was almost 3 hours, because it allowed the film to focus on telling a story… which was also appreciated. There were too many lazy jump scares & awful CGI, too many scenes where the characters reacted in ways that they shouldn’t have, & too much repetition. Thanks for trying though, Andy, but unfortunately IT: Chapter 2 does not live up to the first chapter.

Final Rating – 4/10

“Good Boys” is a new coming of age comedy starring Jacob Tremblay & newcomers Brady Noon & Keith L. Williams. It focuses on the three young boys as they begin the sixth grade and go through that adolescent stage of developing crushes on girls, discovering porn, trying to become popular amongst the sixth grade class, and make new friends… cooler ones, because these three are considered nerds.

They call themselves the “bean bag boys,” & in the beginning of the film Tremblay’s character, named Max, gets invited to a kissing party by the most popular kid in their school. Of course he and the rest of the bean bag boys jump at this opportunity, it’s a chance to finally get in with the cooler kids. They plan on going to the party, but they must first learn how to kiss in order to avoid embarrassment once they arrive at a party that’s going to consist of kissing. They use a drone that belongs to Max’s dad to spy on the neighbor and her boyfriend to see how they kiss. Things go awry, and now the film is also dedicated to the bean bag boys helping Max get his dad’s drone back before he realizes it’s gone.

It’s the typical comedy plot where the primary characters have a place that they need to get to, but they must first complete something very important in order to get to their destination… & if their task isn’t complete within a certain time frame, which it usually isn’t, then they may end up either arguing and splitting up, only to rejoin again towards the end of the film or they may just give up on their mission entirely, only to change their minds towards the end of the film. In a nutshell, the concept of this film is repetitive, but the film itself was slightly enjoyable. The writing is consistent & the story flows the way it’s supposed to, however the script was very predictable. There were moments where I knew what the outcome of a scene would be before it even happened.

Jacob Tremblay delivers the best performance, he single handedly carried every scene that he was in. Williams & Noon do good as well, but if it weren’t for Tremblay the bean bag boys would be almost unbearable to watch. However, each of the boys do a great job at portraying the typical naive preteen boy who’s completely clueless when it comes to sex, girls, and pretty much life in general. The rest of the kids in the movie were terrible actors, it was almost as if the director just told them to “do their best” & their best just wasn’t good enough. One of the young actresses probably didn’t even audition for the film, they most likely pulled her from some random after-school program and said “hey you! Do you want to be in a movie?” & she agreed, having no experience or talent within acting whatsoever. Her character appearances were painfully awkward every single time.

There were a few raunchy scenes, a lot of profanity, & the comedy was cheesy at times. There is nothing memorable about this movie, no funny catchphrases, occasional bland dialogue, & there were a few scenes where the performances from some of the young actors was so cringeworthy that I was desperately waiting for the next scene to come on. The ending of the film begins to drag as well, & it finally ends with the boys discovering what a certain sexual object is used for… which made for a funny ending.

If you’re into comedies where kids are using excessive profanity and occasionally doing dumb shit, then this movie is for you. It’s not bad, it’s just not great.

Final Rating – 5/10